updates for the pics

happy feast

  the ice cream has melt.. but this cake still means alot to me...

  why does he always closes his eyes...but it's okay. i really thank him for everything..

we blew and we blew.. the candle just can't get off

hahaha... wanna play with me? no thanks. you blow it then :)

yes. i was very happy. that was the happiest day for me.

oh my god... mrs liew boo boo.

my mum says he could be the most ugliest WOMAN. *sorry jordan*

 oh man..

okay fine. malaysian next top model

looks like my grandma's hair in a better version

cheh. this is just like a normal malay. XD

the flowers from philip. lilies and roses.

lilies

roses

  Wow.. it has been so long since i'd updated my blog here yea.. i know it's kinda long time.. some people have been complaining to me like... "eunice.. why is your blog so depressing..." and i'll be like.. it's my blog and blog's just like a diary for everyone that talks for their life affairs what do you expect!

  N so... this time round.. forget about the past.. move on. and now to update some new touching stuff.. like some happy ones.. things that i always do for people and never expect that they were repaid by some people that i did not do for them...

  people that know me very well would know that i'm always the one that organize events.. organize some surprises for people.. buy this buy that.. all the good stuff for people. but u know what? it's kinda tiring.. it's really tiring when you're always the one doing it for people or giving people.. but you're like always the one that's being forgotten.. and people would even expect you MORE. more as in doing it MORE for them and getting BETTER.

  i felt stupid at 1st. that i'm such idiot person that keeps pleasing people and totally forgot about myself. idiotic eh? but now... as time passes by.. day by day as i grow.. and grown into a person that's knowing to do stuff for myself and for the people that's WORTH doing for them. like my parents, my family,my best friend philip,and some other people that's really WORTH doing it for them.

  i'm not stupid. it's just that i was being TOO generous, that people use my generousity for their own privellages. people would thought that..." oh damn! eunice wong is an easy to be used person! come on just be "friends" with her so that we can...#$%^^&" *cencerted words* basicly i was always being used. but good also. in such young age i've had been thru so many trials that even my parents say that i'm so bless to go thru all these trials in such age.

  anyway... those that i jsut said there.. were just some partly stuff. Now. i'm gonna tell u guys something that's like so surprising,that i wasn't aware at all.. and i cried because i was touched....

  on the 5th of may,2007 sat. i'd organized a gathering for philip. his 19th birthday. why? cause he's my relaly best friend and it's really worth doing for him. he's always been there for me... never a time he hasn't... i'd invited his good and best fwens... like justin cheah,christine,tansey,joy,jordan... together with myself and his dearest sis freecia wong zhan ru. hehs.

  it was a greeat gathering. that all of us.. sang,while justin played some songs on the guitar.. and miss drama queen jolene wong *philip's 2nd sister* cooked delicious dinner for us... there were like... beef and chicken meat balls spaggethi,deep fried potatoes cakes,garlic bread,juice..nachos.. hey! dont u like jsut see for few dishes,they're like the most filling food in the world!! XD

  at 1st... chrisitine and tansey and joy were like wearing dresses and skirts when they came to philip's house that night.. when the moment they saw me and freecia in shorts,they were like..."i so dont wanna wear THESE." and they changed. hahah.. it was quite funny..

  after the meal... it was pretty late.. aroudn 9pm plus.. we all gathered around the living room.. starting to be lazxy...hugging the pillows n leaning aruond... like worms.. and then we started to play some lame and long away games like...TRUTH or DARE. tansey was the 1st that was dared. and we dared her to call phil to talk some nonsence..

  later a while later.. freecia took out philip's cake. and we started to sing the birtday song.. the cake was the chocolute someting cake from secret recipe.. it was great.

  because it's late,and i have to drive back home.. at night. so parents came down and just to escort me home.. cause it's not safe now... to drive alone especailly at night and your a girl... SUDDENTLY.

  freecia walked from the kitchen to the living room...saying..." hey guys,here's a special request from philip to eunice.." and i stood up...wanted to walk to the kitchen.. then all were like... "ah no no! u have to stay here!" and i was like..."what's going on??"

  n thne.. i saw a glimpse of light walking to me.. it was another small cake.. with a candle lid on. n all of them started to sing a birthday song to me.. yes i was so touched! thouched till that i did not want my tears to burst out n so i kept saying..." omg! my birthday's over! what is this??"

  hahaha...i know it's pretty lame.. but it's just like that~! i mean.. it's always been me surprising people.. but this was really the 1st time people surprising me.. n then.. i blew the candle... wait a min.. it wasn't a normal candle for me at all. it was the stupid candle like no matter how u blow it it won't go off...n then philip kept blowing it..n everyone laughed...

  the cake's the baskin robin's chocolute ice cream fudge.. it was nice... and i was told that it was tansey,joy and christine were the ones taht decorated it..when some silver stuff.. and it was written 831. it's a code... :P

  when i went back the couch... christine said..." eunice, philip was saying like..' this year not many people celebrate eunice's bday with her.. so i want to share my bday with her' and so this is a very belated belated bday for you.." and my tears bursted out like a volcano. jordan was like.."ya eunice.. he just want u to be happy.."

  i cried like...omg.. it was tears of joy i might add. :)

  after the surprise for me.. we started taking lame and stupid pictures... there's many picture.. it's not with me now..they're all with felicia.. i was able to get some.. in ym phone.. like we dress up the guys...like girls with fake hair!! XD it was really funny.. i actually laughed my ass out..n my voice worn out.

  then around 11pm plus... eunice wong has left the building. before i left.. i was given a bunch of nice flowers.. they;re my favorite.. the lilies.. and roses are okay:) 

over all... it was a great gathering. we dont need much graet food. we dont need much good quality destination. we dont need much people. all we need is just bunch of good friends. that'll aprreciate what you are n wadever that's in you. that they can accpet who u are.

        Smile~ :)

thanks to philip,justin,jordan,felicia,jolene,tansey,joy,christine...

distress

tears have been for my daily drinking water.. it's really hurting inside..
where are the people i knew...  in such a short period of time. i seems to be losing everthing that i once had and i love. everyone's gone. even myself. the pain inside... is undescribealbe..
i have been used. humliated. insulted. hurt. everyone around are all faking. this is really hurting... i was just too naive i guess.. that i wasn't aware of anything.. i trusted almost everyone.. i was too naive. i thought that they were harmless... but now the time has proven everything.....

i cried to God... "God! Why hast you forsaken me...? where are you now..? I've know that i'm wrong! i'm wrong that i was the one that put you aside. forgive me for that..."

It was my 18th birthday on wednesday. i went out with my partner. i was good. but not till i thought of things.. what hast i did to anyone... did i cheat them for something...? no. did i make friends and having my own motives...? no. am i faking...? i don't think so. soo why..
it was hurting. finally i got a moment to forget them. and i did. i was in a saloon dying back dark colour for my hair. for the school do not approve with my hair colour. but how bleak. it turned out the amount was a kill.
i was so..scolded by my mum. she compared me with one of her friend's daughter.. which is talented and studies better than me like never before... i cried. in front of her,dad and my brother.
they were all shocked. my mum then was scolded by my dad. and it was tense.
there goes my 18th birthday.

I drove out at night from the celebration of my grandma's birthday last night.
I can't stay there. The hurt inside is really piercing through my heart.. I can't stand it anymore... after i had left my house shortly.. i bursted in tears... i drove like 20-30.. it was slow..yet moving..

just a few hours ago.. i was in school. my dad drove me home today.. he could see that there's something not right with me... he thought that i as sick.. but i'm not.. i know that i looked pale and the eye bags and dark circles were pretty outstanding.. my dad tried to talk to me. i know where's he coming from. i acted well that i was fine. but the more i was talking to my dad the more my tears are falling down my eyes... i pretend tthat i was tired. and i yawned and yawned and yawned... finally i reached home. i went straight to my room. locked door. stripped off. on the tab. and i bathed with cold,freezing water.. feeling the coldness of the water rushing over my head to the tip of my toes... i felt more of realeasd.. and finally.. i broke down and cried on the toilet's floor...
feeling the cold water rushing over my body, and feeling warm tears slipping over my face... both are good,new feelings for me.

i guess all this are good things. it has good purposes for me. i learnt that... not to expect everyday's a sunny day.
i learnt that not to plan too much for the next day. care for the people that care for me. not to take things for granted.

that's it for now... i'm outta here...

frustrations

ughhh.. can't stand it can't stand it anymore!!! it's been killing me even MORE!! ahhh... i blog is to release my emotions... firstly..i wanna GRADUATE! and i'll just go KL! and yes that's it! in my present school's kinda all right...the only thing that kills me is just...
PEOPLE. not schoolmates...i mean they're all very coool. the only i can't stand now. IS. some adults.

some adults that's freaking immature. that caused us young people NO PEACE. I mean like...wtf.
they say that they're using LOVE to do things. yea right. AS IF. the way they handle things that i've had wrong..could lead me to become a suicider...IF i was not tough enough.

aihh..people... people=shit. hahah. it's kinda true term. and i;ve learnt things. i know that. through all these sucky situations and stuff.. i did em all. i made mistakes. i screwed things up. i was distrust. i was humiliated. i was accused. i was backstabbed. i was heartbroken. i was misunderstood.... more and more.. this is life i guess...everyone would just pass through all these i guess. not guess but pretty sure..?

i've had lost myself. my true self. where are u?? i need u back. people around me,best friends have been telling me that there's some changes in me. "are these changes in me good..?" i asked. they said,"u used to be so damn happy,but now u're like so freaking depress."
that's the things caught me stunned. what on earth's going on to me...?? i did realise. JOY was always in me. why did he leave me... is it because i'm not as innocent as those days? or i was just naive...
or perhaps i;s just growing up...?

 people leave. people go.. their leaving to me are like forever goodbye for me.. environment changed. i could adapt into it...and yes i admit,i miss the old days in the old building... the fun i  had with my gang.. the things we been together were really priceless..i'm willing to give my money to get them back..but.....no... it's gone. all these time we had it's gone forver. the only thing that's always around...is memory.

i miss everyone... when there was no complication around.. adults in school were all perfectly happy being and working together... no conflicts. no arguments. no backtalking. no self-gloryfication...
all were happy. all were comfortable with each other... sounds like heaven. but no. the nice time was short. when jealousy came in. all your dreams and happiness' ruined.

i'm feeling really lonely.. because of the adults' fuss.. because of their selfishness... because of their immaturity.. everything changed. pain and sorrow came into my life since then... i really need to get out from this pit. but i need help.. like there's a quote says..
"At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in this world. Some are running scared. Some are running home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Some are facing the truth. Some are evil man, that war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people. 6 billion souls. Sometimes, all you need is just ONE."

that was so true. one. just one would do. it's just so sad that, sometimes we have many people around our life, but we do not notice them. did we know what's going on their life...? did we know that we could be an encougement to them...? even i. i was guilty to it. as guilty as i am, and yeah, i'll try not to oversee all these anymore..

At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in this world. Some are running scared. Some are running home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Some are facing the truth. Some are evil man, that war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people. 6 billion souls. Sometimes, all you need is just one....
just one.... ONE.....ONE....,....,....